(no subject)

Despite the insomnia I experienced last night, today felt fairly productive. I woke a bit late and got ready just in time for my first meeting of the semester. I feel both proud of myself and a bit guilty for refusing to volunteer myself for the committee assignment we met about. Good because I don’t particularly want to do it and know I need to guard my time for things that actually matter to me. Guilty because someone else must now do it, and volunteering—along with holding the position—may have signaled my value to the institution. Or my weakness and stupidity. Who knows?

I dusted off the Slingshot I bought in NYC nearly a year ago and jotted down plans and a schedule for the next two weeks. The degree to which this simple task helped me was surprising.

I feel cautiously optimistic about this semester. Tomorrow is bulk trash day. We hauled some baggage from the past to the curb for the sanitation workers to bring to the landfill. It felt good to part with them. My lack of connection to the objects feels uncharacteristic. I got rid of a bed I had had for roughly 15 years. But moving forward seems nice. As does reviving some old habits—including the design of my classes. Everything is old school. The class will take class in rooms, not online.

Anyway, I am tired and will now try to sleep.